


I'm Not a Saint

by Houdini123, LittleLizardLover



Series: There is no Me Without You [3]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Adoption, Alternate Universe - Historical, Amputation, Child Goshiki, M/M, Mafia Boss Ushijima, New York City, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, World War I, mafia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-18
Updated: 2020-12-18
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:07:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28159521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Houdini123/pseuds/Houdini123, https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleLizardLover/pseuds/LittleLizardLover
Summary: Ushijima Wakatoshi is next in line to be the Don of the Ushijima mafia when he is drafted to go fight on the Western front. At 35 with no partner in sight he’s practically a confirmed bachelor much to his mother’s dismay. The front is lonely for a man with no-one to write to until the worst happens and Wakatoshi is injured. What may start out as a nightmare soon becomes the best thing that has ever happened in his lonely life.*This is part of a series, it can be read as a standalone but reading the other parts adds to the story and they're fun too. :)
Relationships: Tendou Satori/Ushijima Wakatoshi
Series: There is no Me Without You [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1956553
Comments: 4
Kudos: 44





	I'm Not a Saint

**Author's Note:**

> We worked really hard on this one and spent a long time on it so we hope you enjoy it!

“Please, please I’ll do anything!” The man at his feet begged. Wakatoshi had always found it interesting how compliant people became when they realized their time on Earth was slipping away quicker than planned. 

“You’ve had your chance, our patience has run out.” Wakatoshi replied, taking out his pistol from its holder in his coat. 

“If it’s about the money I can pay, I just need a day I promise please!” The man rushed out in a frenzy. _Pathetic._

“You and I both know this isn’t about the money. You stole from us and leaked information to the narcs. Only you would be stupid enough to leak information to a narc owned by my family.” He laughed, removing the safety and shooting the man in the head before he could grovel up more excuses for his behaviour. The shot rang silent, thanks to the brand new silencer he’d purchased, but blood still splattered on his face.  
He took his handkerchief that his mother had embroidered for him out of his pant pocket and wiped his face as he walked back to his car. With business settled he set off for Manhattan where his mother would be waiting to have lunch with him at Delmonicos. 

\--

“Wakatoshi, how are you my dear?” His mother asked, standing up to kiss his cheek, he bent down for her comfort. She had always been a frail little thing, even in her youth when Wakatoshi was but a babe. Though she was unassuming she had the sharpest tongue and quickest mind of anyone he knew (and he knew a lot of people). It was practically a necessity when you’re married to the Don of the biggest mafia in the state of New York, especially when you’re the third wife. 

“All is well, mother. I just finished some business down in Brooklyn.” He replied, pulling out her chair and going round to his seat.

“I can see that. You still have some blood on your brow.” She said as she beckoned a waiter to their table. He hurried to wipe it off before anyone else could see. She winked at him as the server stepped up to their table.

“Good afternoon, what may I serve you today?” The young man asked.

“A bottle of seltzer for the table and whatever is new on the menu.” His mother said, not even bothering to open the menu.

“Ah, I don’t know that we have anything new on the menu today m’am.” He replied. 

“Tell the chef it’s Sakura Ushijima asking.” She countered, handing him both of their menus before turning her gaze back to Wakatoshi. He saw something twinkling in her eyes that could only spell trouble. 

“Now, my love, do you have any news for your dear old mother?” She asked in the sweet voice she reserved only for him and small children. 

“Well… I’ve managed to secure another supplier in Pennsylvania.” He saw the waiter coming back with the seltzer and chose to hold off speaking until they were alone again. “That and I’ve been looking at a few apartment buildings I’d like to invest in.” He said as he poured their drinks. Personally he would’ve preferred a carbonated lemonade but his mother was overly fond of seltzer water. He knew that he was making idle chit chat in the hopes of evading the usual relationship questions that had been plaguing him since his teen years. 

“You know that’s not the kind of news I’m asking about. You went on a date with that nice girl? Julianne?” She asked in her deceptively soft tone. Ushijima didn’t have the heart to tell her that the date had been a disaster because the girl in question, Julie, had shown up drunk and had ended the night early by vomiting on Wakatoshi’s shoes. It definitely made the top ten worst nights of his life.

“I don’t think we’re a good match.” He tried to say but his mother lifted a hand, effectively stopping his excuses. The waiter chose that moment to come out with their food, gently setting it down and wishing them a good meal before scurrying away.

“We’ve been through this conversation so many times, how much longer must we go through this?” His mother asked, tiredness evident in her voice. He hated doing this to her but she practically refused to see the truth.

“Mother I-” She cut him off. “All I want is for you to marry a nice young girl, I want to see your happiness. You are made to be a father, and it is your duty to do so. You’re practically a confirmed bachelor. I worry about you alone in that big apartment of yours with no one to warm your heart.” She said, desperate.

“How can you be so sure? I don’t know if marriage is necessarily the path to my happiness, and as for children I don’t think myself capable.” Wakatoshi said, honestly. 

“Don’t you want to make your mother happy too? I dream of grandchildren every night.” She countered. 

“Surely there is more to your happiness than grandchildren?”

“I’ve been in a loveless marriage since the day I stepped into that church. I am alone in a house where my predecessors haunt the halls. I have lost too many babies for you to deprive me of this. You are the only light in my life” She snapped, misty eyed. It broke Wakatoshi’s heart to see his mother like this but he felt like he could only offer empty promises.

“Alright, I will try harder. I’m sorry for having caused you grief. Please, do not worry about me too much.” He said, head bowed. 

The rest of lunch was spent in idle chat, the weight of his mother’s admission heavy on his mind.

\--

As the death toll in Europe continued to climb Wakatoshi prepared himself for the inevitable; he would be drafted and sent to the trenches. There wasn’t much he could do to dodge the draft, bribing only got you so far in life. Plus, he felt a small sense of patriotic duty, and it would mean not having to worry about marriage for a little while longer. His father would continue to head the family in his absence.  
Wakatoshi, unlike the majority of those who headed out to the Western Front, was intimately acquainted with death. Blood was no scarier than water, the sound of guns firing a familiar noise, the babble of dying men as their life slips away was static, he’d been to enough funerals to have the stench of death never quite leave his best suit. He knew death, but as much as he wanted to believe that war was no different to the suffering he’d created he’d known deep down that it wouldn’t even compare; and that scared him. He’d seen the statistics and photographs of the trenches, moving even a cold-blooded killer like him to fear. He could only hope that with the U.S’s help the war would come to a close much quicker than anticipated.  
He was with Reon when he’d gotten the news, a bellboy had come up to his floor with his daily mail. The letter was haphazardly placed between a letter from a friend in California and one from a cousin in Maine. It was a standard size letter, with nice quality paper. The words were bland and strictly regulation, no room for long-winded poetic sentences, just the time, date, and place at which he should report for duty and what infantry he would belong to.  
Some would say the army is the perfect place for Wakatoshi. Bland, uniform, and predictable in every way. Idiots would say his personality fits that of a soldier perfectly; stoic, calm, and slightly unnerving. They would think that because Wakatoshi doesn’t speak much or very passionately or that because he doesn’t have many friends that he would be happy in the army.  
They were wrong, they were so painfully wrong it made Wakatoshi cringe. Wakatoshi, though not the most colourful of characters, was enamored with life and all of its intricacies. He loved his plants as if they were his children, he talked to them every morning as he took care of them and every night before going to bed. He enjoyed people watching and hearing children’s laughter on a sunny day. He loved to read, anything and everything was his favourite. He was a voracious consumer of art in all forms, he especially loved the thrill of discovering new music. None of these facts did he keep to himself; people simply chose to see him as one thing easily classified as boring. 

He prayed to a God he didn’t believe in that he would live to see home again.

\--

Basic training was basic and if it were not for the skills he already had handling guns he would not feel even slightly confident going off to Europe. The sheer level of incompetence he saw in some of his platoon mates when it came to handling guns made him more worried about friendly-fire than whatever the Triple Alliance was going to throw at them. He wasn’t alone in his opinion, his bunkmate Sawamura who was a cop ( _yeah, just Wakatoshi’s luck_ ) was also horrified at how little training they went through.  
They were roughly the same age, though Wakatoshi was older, and they got along like a house on fire thanks to their mild attitudes and distaste for worthless chatter. That and they were both lonesome bachelors with nothing but work to occupy their time. They differed on many levels but neither took it to heart, which was refreshing considering the amount of arguments there was amongst their platoon mates over the dumbest shit. Infighting wasn’t going to get them anywhere fast, but even as they boarded the ships that would take them to Europe they continued to fight. Some of the particularly distasteful men in their unit that knew nothing of common courtesy or of respect for the fairer sex made Wakatoshi want to throw them overboard.

It was a small mercy that neither he, Sawamura, nor their other two bunkmates got seasick.

\--

The trenches were as miserable as Wakatoshi had expected them to be. Their superior officers before coming had tried to minimize the horror of the trenches and pass it off as nothing more than rough living, like camping in the woods but the truth could not be further from that. The trenches were dirty and wet constantly and infested with rats that some of the men that have been there longer have either been named and kept as pets or hunted to eat (or both).

They were lucky to arrive during a lull in the fighting because it gave the men with experience the time to grill them on all the ‘dos and don’ts’ of living in a trench. Wakatoshi had half a mind to completely disregard what they’re saying since they all looked either half-crazed or half-dead but they _had_ lasted in the trenches longer than any of his platoon and longer than their own platoons as well. He decided to listen, just in case.

The fighting picked back up a little bit over a day after Wakatoshi and his platoon had arrived. They had orders to rush forward and attack the German trenches during the dead of night to get the element of surprise on their sides. The American men lamented being stationed with the Canadian units who apparently did night raids more often. 

The raid was worse than Wakatoshi expected. They snuck through no man’s land, often stepping over long dead corpses then descended on the Germans with no mercy or honour. They destroyed what they could and stole things that appeared to be of value, and rained gunfire down on the enemy. When the Germans began fighting back in earnest, they rushed back across no man’s land to their own trenches with a not insignificant amount of their men falling to artillery fire.

A lot of Wakatoshi’s platoon mates got violently ill as soon as they were in the relative safety of the trench, and he had barely been able to not get sick himself.

Things did not get better. While he and his platoon were on the front, there was little time for rest and the stench of death never fully left. Wakatoshi had always believed he knew what death was, what it smelled like and what it _felt_ like but he quickly learned that the death he knew was far different from the death of the trenches. When they were rotated out to the ‘reserve,’ the days passed too quickly to be of value, a haze before returning to the fighting.

Wakatoshi only had his mother sending him things, but many of the other men had sweethearts sending them letters and care packages; it always made his heart twinge the slightest bit. He wouldn’t have called it jealousy by any means, but he couldn’t deny the turbulent emotions he felt whenever Bokuto cooed over the most recent picture of his _amazing Keiji, isn’t he so pretty?_ or when Sawamura tried to hide his blushing over his pen pal because _I don’t even actually know him, he’s just a friend._

He wondered if his mother had been right when she had insisted that he would be happier married or in a dedicated relationship. He hadn’t ever been in love, so he didn’t really know how it would feel, but when he saw how his friends were when reading letters from their beloveds, he couldn’t help but think that love might make the despair clawing in his soul a bit more bearable.

When they returned to the front, Wakatoshi saw that there were new soldiers coming with them. Bright faced and fresh looking, dangerously green. Had it really only been a few months since his own platoon had arrived at the front, looking like that? Wakatoshi felt like he had aged decades since he first set foot on that battlefield.

The new soldiers didn't even get through their first night before the Germans attacked them. As Wakatoshi grabbed his gun and tried to differentiate friend from foe, he made eye contact with a soldier. One of the greenies, face contorted in fear and then frozen that way as bullets found their mark in his chest. Wakatoshi froze briefly.

“C’mon, Ushijima, stop fucking around!” One of the older soldiers shouted at him, breaking him out of his stupor. He got ready to shoot and fight back, but saw that the Germans had vacated their area of the trench.

“Where the hell did they go?” Bokuto asked, somewhere to Wakatoshi’s left. A small whizzing sound filled the air and Wakatoshi’s gut filled with dread as he realized what was coming. Mortars.

“Everyone get down!” He shouted, too late as he tried to jump to safety. The deafening sound of the mortar shell exploding filled his ears and pain blossomed across his whole body, overshadowing everything else around him. He’d seen more than enough men succumb to less to know it was the end for him.

_I never thought this would be how I died_

\--

There was a hand softly brushing through his hair and a throbbing pain in his right leg. He could faintly hear someone talking to him, but it sounded so far away and he was so tired. _Maybe he should just go back to sleep. That hand felt so nice._

“C’mon Miracle-Boy, prove ‘em wrong for me?” The voice said, it sounded closer this time. What a beautiful voice.

“There you go, that’s it, open up those eyes for me.” The hand left his hair, a cool cloth was placed on his forehead. The pain in his leg flared up. A grunt left his mouth as his eyes shot open. He was met with shockingly red eyes, _like rubies_ his thoughts provided.

“Hello Wakatoshi!” The eyes, no the man said. He must’ve looked confused because the man began talking quite rapidly.

“Oh! I forgot to introduce myself! I’m Satori Tendou and I’ve been your wonderful nurse here during your stay at field hospital number five!” He rushed out, Wakatoshi tried to respond but his mouth and throat were dried out. Before he could even think about signalling for water, hands were helping him sit up (there was once again a stabbing pain in his leg) and a glass was placed in his hands. He drank slowly knowing haste would only harm his goal. Once he felt like he could speak without coughing up his lungs he looked to his nurse. He couldn’t really see him all that well because it was dark.

“What happened?” He asked. The nurse’s eyes softened.

“You were wounded in a raid, a mortar exploded near you. It took out half your platoon and severely injured your leg. You lost consciousness but one of your platoon mates brought you back. We thought we could save your leg but an infection set in and we had to amputate it above your knee. You were delirious for days and everyone here thought you were as good as dead but I never gave up on you. You’re my Miracle-Boy.” He explained, holding Wakatoshi’s hand in a warm grip all the while. 

Wakatoshi risked a glance down to his leg, he could clearly see the stump under the blanket but it still felt like it was there but he was _alive_. With shaky hands and a heavy heart he lifted the blanket to see a neatly wrapped stump. He let out the breath he was holding and met the nurse’s eyes again as he put the blanket down.

“Thank you for not giving up on me.” He said, voice wavering. He gripped the hands that had been holding his a little tighter. He closed his eyes before speaking again, “How long has it been?” He asked. 

“Almost two weeks.” Nurse Tendou spoke softly. “Are you hungry?” He asked.

“Not really, but I need the energy.” Wakatoshi replied. 

“How about some tasty saltines while I redress your leg?” Tendou offered.

“If you must.” 

“I’ll be gentle.”

“I don’t doubt that.” Wakatoshi said, grabbing the offered saltines as Tendou went to collect various materials from a nearby station. When the man came back Wakatoshi noticed he had the most vibrant red hair to match with his eyes. _He’s beautiful_ Wakatoshi thought as he slowly chewed a saltine. Tendou lifted and folded the blanket over his other leg, he gently placed a clean towel under the stump.

“Alright, I’m going to start unwrapping.” He said, waiting for Wakatoshi’s approval. 

“Okay.” Wakatoshi acquiesced, not looking away from his stump.

“Not squeamish, are we?” Tendou asked with a smirk, untucking the bandage slowly.

“I’ve seen worse.”

“Ooh, freaky.” Tendou replied, eyes bulging out a little as he focused on his task. To others it may have seemed frightening but Wakatoshi found it endearing. As the bandages were unwound slowly but surely skin began to show.

“ _Now_ , why do I have the feeling you’ve seen worse but not because of your stay here in this wonderful paradise we call the Western Front?” He asked as he finally uncovered the frankly grotesque stump. That is going to be one nasty scar, Wakatoshi’s mind supplied.

“By-product of my job.” Wakatoshi winced as Tendou examined his stump, humming.

“What a pretty little stump, barely any oozing. I do have to say you are a model patient save for that nasty infection you got in the beginning! Now, you sure aren’t a doctor or you’d be working with me. So what are ya? I say a detective cop like in them fancy novels!” The nurse singsonged as he gently washed away the small amounts of pus and blood that had welled up. Wakatoshi let out a small laugh at his imagination.

“Not a cop.” He said as Tendou patted the wound dry.

“Aw man! Not a cop, not a doctor, and definitely not a coroner because it absolutely doesn’t fit with your aura!” He said excitedly as he began carefully wrapping the stump again.

“You’re right about that.” Wakatoshi said, trying to hold back his winces. 

“You’re being cryptic Waka-dear.” He sang as some personnel walked by. 

“Leave him alone, freak. You’ll end up killing him for your rituals or whatever you get up to at night.” One of them spat while another spouted more hatred, “You’re a mistake, I’d be ashamed of yourself.” Wakatoshi was stunned silent by their vileness and the way Tendou seemed to wilt like his seasonal plants at the end of summer. Wakatoshi decidedly did not like that.

“What’s the matter? Cat got your tongue?” He said, trying to cheer up Tendou with a smile. It didn’t seem to work. Tendou kept his gaze down on his work, eyes dulled.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have pushed.” Tendou apologized.

“Don’t apologize, I was having fun instead of focusing on the pain of my missing leg.” He countered. Tendou looked up at him, eyes hopeful.

“You don’t mind?” He asked.

“It’s cute.”

“Don’t say that.”

“Why not? It’s true.” Wakatoshi replied, confused.

“People don’t usually say that about me.” He answered, finishing up the new bandage. 

“People don’t usually guess my ‘aura’ right the first time.” The soldier offered. 

“Really?! You’re such an open book though.” Tendou exclaimed, eyes finally lighting up again.

“Others would disagree, but you aren’t like them.” Wakatoshi countered, replacing the blanket on his leg. He may not be squeamish but he didn’t actively seek out troubling sights. 

“Isn’t that a bad thing?” Tendou asked, wiping his hands on his apron.

“No, it just makes you unique unlike those stupid-looking trainee nurses that passed by. I don’t know you much but even I can tell they’re not basing whatever bile they’re spewing on anything concrete.” He answered honestly.

“I think that’s the nicest thing anyone’s said to me since I got here.” The nurse admitted, standing from the stool he was previously sitting on. 

“Well, shame on them. Now aren’t you going to ask me what my job is?” Wakatoshi asked, desperate for the conversation to continue. 

“I think I’ve run out of plausible jobs.” He admitted.

“I’ll tell you.” The soldier offered

“Really?!” Tendou giggled, eyes filled with mirth. 

“Yes, come closer.” Wakatoshi said, a small grin on his face. 

“Mmhmm” Tendou said, leaning in. 

“It’s a secret.” He said, a smirk now plastered on his face.

“What! I can’t believe you would trick an innocent little nurse like this!” Tendou laughed as he stood to leave. 

“I guess you’ll just have to get to know me.” Wakatoshi offered as he lay back down to rest some more. 

“Challenge accepted Mr. Dark and Mysterious.” Tendou singsonged as he walked away to whomever needed his help. Wakatoshi was sad to see him go. 

\--

Field hospital five was about as boring and as depressing as a place could get on the Western Front. Wakatoshi didn’t have much to do other than rest, write letters to his mother, and play solitaire. Sawamura and Bokuto had come to visit him once during their leave day. He was thankful to see that they were uninjured from the blast and still fighting strong. The only thing he could look forward to during the day was when Tendou came around to do his bandages and bring him his meals. They grew to know each other far beyond what was expected of a nurse and his charge yet Tendou still hadn’t guessed what Wakatoshi did for a living. 

“Wakatoshi you gotta tell me! Please? I’ll bring you an extra jam sandwich at dinner!” Tendou pleaded as he guessed wrong yet again. It was adorable how fidgety Tendou got over not knowing.

“That is a very tempting offer but I get much more joy out of seeing you suffer.” Wakatoshi said, holding the waste basket for his soiled bandages. 

“But you already know everything about me!” Tendou whined. 

“False, I don’t know your favourite kind of jam.” He deadpanned back.

“That’s because you know I prefer any jelly over all jam!” Tendou retorted.

“I still can’t believe you have a jelly superiority complex.”

“Seeds, Wakatoshi, _seeds_.” The nurse replied in all seriousness. 

“Weakling.” Wakatoshi joked, goofy smile plastered on his face.

“And here I thought we were kindred spirits.” Tendou shot back petulantly, arms crossed along his chest. 

“I’m sorry my dear nurse but the jelly/jam debate proves too tumultuous for your delicate disposition.” He shot back.

“I’ll show you delicate.” Tendou warned as he finished up rewrapping his stump. His eyes were shining with mirth, making them all the more captivating.

“How can I make up for my grievous ways?” Wakatoshi asked.

“Well… you could tell me what you do for a living.” Tendou tried, wiggling his eyebrows. It was admirable how invested he was in finding out the truth. Truthfully, Wakatoshi didn’t mind telling him a censored version of the truth but he wanted to make sure it was a grand reveal.

“How about I tell you the day I’m discharged?” He offered. Tendou’s eyes bulged out and lit up with excitement.

“Really?!” _God, he was beautiful. Eyes alight, hair in a wild disarray and a grin splitting his face._

“I promise, scout’s honour.” Wakatoshi promised solemnly. 

“Waka-dear, you and I both know you were never a boy scout.” Tendou said, cackling as he walked away. Wakatoshi could feel the loneliness creep back with every step the nurse took.

“You got me there, but I do promise. On my honour!” He called out to the receding form.

\--

He’d been in the field hospital for nearly a month and a half when his stitches were considered good to go. Tendou had been the one to remove them because the doctors were busy with the newest wave of poor souls coming in. Having string pulled from your body was easily the most uncomfortable and unsettling feeling Wakatoshi had ever experienced. Worst of all was having to try and comfort a panicky Tendou every other minute when Wakatoshi would let out a grunt of pain. It warmed Wakatoshi’s cold heart to know it affected Tendou when he caused Wakatoshi pain. Once the stitches were out it was just a matter of letting the small wounds heal before he would be sent to England for physical rehabilitation and the fitting of a prosthetic.  
For now all he could do was patiently wait, play more solitaire, and read and reread the two books his mother had sent him. He also wrote letters everyday to his mother and Reon who was still fighting on the front. He also took a special pleasure in glaring at the nurses and staff that had made rude comments about Tendou. He knew his face to be particularly scary so he used it to his advantage. No one other than Tendou treated him and that was fine by Wakatoshi. It wasn’t until a cold Monday morning that his routine changed when a different nurse woke him up at dawn.

“Mr. Ushijima, please pack your belongings.” The nurse said as he brought a pair of crutches to Wakatoshi’s bedside.

“What’s going on?” He asked, on the alert.

“You’re being transferred to England, the convoy leaves in an hour.” The nurse explained, bored. “Will you be good to do things yourself or will you require assistance?” He asked.  
“I’ll be fine, but where’s nurse Tendou? He usually is the one in charge of my dossier.” Wakatoshi asked, not liking the new nurse’s attitude.

“The freak? He’s been moved to another hospital, I don’t know where and I frankly don’t care.” The nurse said as he left. _In record time he became an official member of Wakatoshi’s shitlist._ Wakatoshi was left alone in his bed reeling over the fact that Tendou hadn’t come to say goodbye, it didn’t sit well with him and reeked of foul play.  
If he couldn’t figure out a way to contact Tendou soon he would have to write to a few people to get the answers he wanted. For now, he had to pack his meagre items into his government issued knapsack and hobble his way to wherever he was meant to be. 

\--

He was in one of three overpacked transport vans getting thrown around with the other amputees when they finally stopped to board a boat. The tarpaulin sheet that served as the ‘door’ at the back of the van was harshly pulled up and a ramp installed so they could get out easier. Wakatoshi, being the honest man that he is, would be lying if he said getting out the van was easy. He really missed his leg, it was a _good leg_ as Tendou would say in that sing-song way of his.  
He was lining up to board when he heard a distant but very familiar voice. Initially he believed it to be a figment of his imagination, because it’s much too good to be true and life is cruel in the worst ways; but then he saw vibrant red hair when he turned around to check. A running and out of breath Tendou crashed into him, and Wakatoshi barely managed to keep them upright with his leg and crutch wobbling. He was frantically holding on to Wakatoshi, as if he would disappear at any moment. 

“Oh Wakatoshi! I thought I was never going to see you again! I tried to go see you before I left but you were already gone and nobody would tell me anything. I’m so sorry, please forgive me!” He rushed out, tears streaming down his face. Wakatoshi was left speechless, not for the first time, so he chose to simply squish Tendou to his chest more.

“It’s not your fault.” He tried. They were holding up the line, and he could see an official coming towards them. “Are you boarding this boat?” He asked Tendou, who simply nodded. “Alright, let’s go in before we get yelled at, how does that sound? We can talk inside”

“Okay.” Tendou mumbled. Thankfully helping Wakatoshi along until they made their way inside the boat to a secluded corner where they sat down, much to Wakatoshi’s relief. Wakatoshi knew that Tendou was a tactile person but the way he shakily clung to Wakatoshi was strange even for him.

“Are you alright?” Wakatoshi questioned.

“I don’t know, I think I just realized that I’m in love with you.” Tendou replies in that overwhelmingly honest way of his, eyes wide open and wet with unshed tears. “And I think that the thought of never seeing you again or never ever talking to you again terrified me more than I thought it would. I’m sorry this has been a lot to process.” He said, roughly wiping his face with a handkerchief and unlatching himself from Wakatoshi’s chest. He seemed to take Wakatoshi’s silence and bewilderment as a bad sign and began to stammer out an apology, again, before Wakatoshi stopped him.

“No, no, no more apologising. I think I am just overwhelmed, I never would have believed a person as wonderful as you to have feelings for a man such as I. And I must confess that I would’ve found a way to contact you even if it meant searching for the rest of my life.” Wakatoshi desperately rushed out, grasping onto Tendou’s hands, who looked back at him like he had sprouted a second head.

“Wakatoshi, what is that supposed to mean? You're easily one of the best people I’ve met, and a good kind hearted man. It’s me who’s not much to look at.” Tendou argued. 

“I am not a good man.” Wakatoshi spoke, gaze looking away. “I’ve done horrible things and have hurt a great deal of people.”

“So has every soldier! What does it matter if I love you?” Tendou argued, a blaze of fury behind his eyes. Wakatoshi had no choice but to tell the whole truth, even if it meant losing Tendou.

“It’s not about me being a soldier, there was blood on my hands long before I was drafted.” He said, “I was going to Hell long before I killed on foreign lands.” He let go of Tendou's hands, the contact overwhelming him. 

“And I’ve been damned since the moment I opened my eyes and the midwife saw their colour. I’m a monster, an abomination, whatever you wanna call it. It doesn’t stop me from loving you and wanting to be with you! Stop being stubborn!” Tendou exclaimed wildly, waving his hands around.

Wakatoshi was growing desperate. How could such a beautiful soul not see their worth? “You were never a monster and you never will be one. I’m sorry that people lesser than you have made you believe otherwise, you’re innocent, I don’t want to take that away. Us being together would only put you in danger” He said, tears in his eyes. 

“What is it that you can’t tell me Wakatoshi?” Tendou pleaded.

Taking in a breath, Wakatoshi admitted his most well-kept secret between the two of them. “I’m the next Don of the Ushijima mafia.” He rushed out. 

“Oh.” Tendou said, mouth open in shock before he realized he was staring. “Well it’s not the worst thing, you could’ve been a serial killer or like a crazy scientist or an experimental surgeon. It’s really not the end of the world.” He rambled, hands flapping around as he explained.

“What.” Wakatoshi said, completely dumbfounded.

Quirking his head to the side, Tendou clarified his ramblings. “I don’t mind, unless you have some sort of like obsession with death?”

Wakatoshi huffed out a disbelieving sigh before answering. “No, really not. I feel like you should be a little bit more worried about my career choice.” _How could Tendou be so casual about this?_

“Nope! You can call me Satori from now on!” He exclaimed, a happy smile on his face.

“Tend- Satori, are you sure you know what you’re getting into?” Wakatoshi asked in disbelief.

“Well…” He drawled, wrapping his arms around Wakatoshi’s neck, “Do you love me?” He asked.

“Maddly.” Wakatoshi confessed.

Smiling, he asked, “Would you ever hurt me?”

The thought itself made Wakatoshi sick inside, “Never. God, I couldn’t even if I wanted to.”

“If one day I don’t love you anymore will you let me leave?” _As if Wakatoshi could ever deny him, even if it meant losing him._

“Of course.”

“And would you protect me from the ‘danger’ you talked about?” His face was kind and relaxed, in a way that Wakatoshi rarely saw back at the field hospital. 

Wakatoshi, slowly wrapped his arms around Satori’s waist, “With every fiber of my being.” 

“Just as I thought.” Satori said, looking like the cat who got the cream. 

“You don’t mind?” Wakatoshi asked, feeling more and more like he was on the edge of something bigger than himself. Satori gave him a softly exasperated look at his question. 

“Wakatoshi, I was ready to be with you when I thought you were some kind of necromaniac crime fighter. Which is really weird because that didn’t fit with your ‘aura’ but I had pretty much run out of ideas so I went with the least scary one.” He replied playing coy.

Huffing out a laugh Wakatoshi grabbed Satori’s hands in his, “Marry me?” he asked, hopeful.  
Satori's eyes shone with unshed tears as he answered, “As if you have to ask, of course I’ll marry you.” 

“I think this might be the happiest day of my life.”

“You are quite the sap, Waka-dear.”

“Does it fit with my ‘aura’?”

“Absolutely.”

\--

There were fewer people than usual on the boardwalk, likely due to the overcast sky. This being New York City however, ‘fewer people’ meant that there was still a decently large crowd. Every time they went out, it seemed that people stared at them on the streets, and today was no exception. Wakatoshi was well aware there were many reasons people might stare at them on the street - they might recognize him, or they might be shocked by Satori’s unusual appearance, or they might just be staring because of his prominent limp. As per usual, Wakatoshi did his best to ignore the judging stares and focused instead on Satori’s stream-of-consciousness talking. Apparently, the most recent detective novel the redhead had read had been quite disappointing and lackluster when compared to the author’s usual works.

“We can stop by the bookstore on our way back,” Wakatoshi suggested, “Perhaps a new author would have better-”

He stopped talking, abruptly, when he felt a hand reaching into his pocket and trying to grab his wallet. He’d spent more than enough time in the rougher neighbourhoods to be able to tell when a pickpocket picked him as a target for whatever reason. With practiced ease, he grabbed the wrist of the pickpocket and pulled him forward all while without letting go of his cane.

It was not a typical pickpocket. It was in fact, a child. Scrawny and squirming in his grip, and obviously quite scared. There was no shortage of child pickpockets but with how the economy had been doing, there had been fewer than ever before.

“Where are your parents?” He asked, still not letting the child go. 

“I don’t have any.” The child replied, prickly, still tugging and trying to get away. Not a huge surprise, when looking at their threadbare clothing and matted hair. “I won’t try to steal from you again if you let me go.”

Wakatoshi generally wasn’t one to get mad at children, and so long as the kid didn’t bother him anymore, he didn’t mind letting them go. He dropped their wrist but before the kid could scramble away, Satori grabbed their shoulders.

“Satori..?” Wakatoshi said questioningly.

“This is an opportunity, Wakatoshi!” Satori said, only adding to Wakatoshi’s confusion. The kid looked just as confused. Satori grinned as he patted the kid’s shoulder’s, “Your mother was _just_ complaining about not having grandchildren! What a lucky coincidence that we happen to bump into a thieving orphan right after!”

“What?!” The kid exclaimed, looking up at Satori like he was a space alien. Wakatoshi looked the two up and down, pensieve. Satori always had the strangest ideas, but they tended to end pretty well. And, the redhead was right. His mother had only upped her nagging about grandchildren since Satori had joined the family, but the two were generally apprehensive about going to orphanages - the religious ones would refuse to let Satori enter, and the one time they’d visited a non-religious state orphanage, the kids had run screaming.

“And, c’mon, he’s already showing promise for the family business!” Satori continued.

“We are not thieves,” Wakatoshi said. The kid stared up at him at those words.

“Crime is crime,” Satori said, voice low so as to not let too many passersby hear.

“You’re criminals?!” The kid exclaimed, looking shocked.

“So are you, kid,” Satori said, “Though, that’s what makes you so special! What’s your name, huh?”

The kid froze up, face pink, before he spoke, “Tsutomu.”

“I’m Satori, and tall, dark and intimidating here is my husband, Wakatoshi,”

“Satori, I do not think picking orphans off of the streets is the best way to start a family.” Wakatoshi said.

“Well, it’s not the worst way either.” Satori retorted. The two stared at each other for a good minute before Wakatoshi acquiesced.

“Having a child is no small commitment.” He said, “Since we have been trying for some time though, I guess this isn’t entirely a split second decision. Though, we should ask what Tsutomu wants before going any further with this.”

Satori gave him a smile - the same smile he had whenever he knew he had won something - and turned back to Tsutomu. “So, what do you say? We can offer you a hell of a better life than whatever you currently have.”

Wakatoshi watched the gears turning in Tsutomu’s head, though he was already pretty certain of the kid’s answer. He was young, but clearly not stupid, and turning away a promise of a roof over his head, food and proper caretakers was not an option for most kids like him. Even if he was scared by Wakatoshi and Satori, going with them was not any more dangerous than sleeping on the streets but had a chance of being a positive experience. In short, the odds of him saying no were quite low.

“Fine.” Tsutomu said, crossing his arms and avoiding their gaze. It was pretty cute. “If you want me that badly.”

Satori laughed, patting the kid’s head. “You’re too cute, Tsutomu.” The redhead said. “We should head home though. You need a bath and a haircut.”

“Is your home very far?” Tsutomu asked as they began walking back toward where their driver was.

“Not very.” Wakatoshi replied, “Especially not by car.”

“Is it very big?”

“ _Huge_ ” Satori said, “Way too big, really. It’s good for family gatherings though.”

Tsutomu kept asking questions the entire way to the Ushijima home, quieting a bit when they finally arrived. The guards and servants were quite obviously staring despite trying to appear casual. 

“I’ll take care of Tsutomu, you go and make orders for some better clothing and furniture for him.” Satori said.

Wakatoshi nodded and split off from his husband and child (?), seeking out Yamagata, who was in charge of running all of the household affairs. He found the man in one of the offices, discussing things with Semi, who was in charge of the distribution of their illegal alcohol.

“You’re back early.” Semi noted.

“Yes, Satori and I found a child and brought him home.” Wakatoshi said, “Yamagata, I was hoping you could help get some clothing and furniture set up for him, in the empty room near ours.”

The two stared at him, incredulous. “You… found a child? And brought him home?” Yamagata repeated.

“Yes.”

Semi let out a very deep sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose, “You can’t just… take a kid off the streets! Just because Satori said it was a good idea doesn’t mean it’s something you should do. You have to bring him back to his parents.”

“You misunderstand.” Wakatoshi said, “Tsutomu is an orphan, and chose to come with us.”

“That’s still not…” Semi seemed to give up on arguing before even beginning, “Well, I guess getting an orphan off the streets is a _good_ thing. Still, things like this need a bit more planning usually.”

“Yes, I am aware.”

“So, any specific requests for the clothes and furniture?” Yamagata interrupted.

“Just something simple for now. We’ll get more when Tsutomu tells us of his preferences.”

“I’ll go do that then. We’ll want it all set up before night time.” Yamagata quickly left the room, leaving Wakatoshi and Semi alone together.

“Are you sure you’re ready for this level of commitment?” Semi asked, “Once you have a child, you can’t just back out of it. Neither can Satori.”

“We know that. We have discussed having children before. It just so happened that we found Tsutomu today.” Wakatoshi said, “Satori thinks it is a happy coincidence.”

Semi chuckled, “Of course he does. You should go and make sure he isn’t doing anything weird to the kid. I have some work to do.”

Wakatoshi nodded and left, heading to the bathroom. He doubted Satori would be doing anything strange at all. He heard the chattering from a good way down the hall and quickened his pace a bit. The door had been left open a bit and he nudged it open, poking his head in. It wasn’t exactly what he’d expected to see but it wasn’t anything terrible like Semi had seemed to assume.

Tsutomu was sitting on a stool (where had it come from? He didn’t recognize it) wrapped up in a towel. He had a bowl on his head and Satori was in the process of cutting his hair by snipping around the rim of the bowl.

“Satori..? What’s this..?”

Satori looked up and looked like he’d been caught doing something he shouldn’t have. “Oh! Tsutomu’s hair was pretty unruly so I decided to cut it myself.” The redhead explained, “It was matted enough I thought waiting for the barber wasn’t really worth it.”

“Why the bowl?”

“Ehhh… my mom used to do mine like this.” Satori explained, “I kinda realize now it’s pretty weird. But if I had to live with it, then my kid should too. Family tradition. Or something. Do you mind?”

“No, it’s… alright.” It was a bit strange, but nothing harmful (or at least it didn’t _seem_ harmful), “Unless Tsutomu minds?”

“I don’t!” The child said helpfully.

“I got Yamagata to prepare a room for Tsutomu.” Wakatoshi told the two, “Semi didn’t seem overjoyed though.”

“Semi will get used to it. He’s just a stick in the mud about stuff like this.” Satori said with a chuckle, “Don’t worry, Tsutomu, they’ll all learn to love you. Or fear you. Either works in this family, really.”

“ _Satori._ ” Wakatoshi chided, though he couldn’t help but smile.

\--

For all of Bokuto’s eccentric ways, having the literal biggest party of the century be his son’s 7th birthday celebration was truly in form. Not that Wakatoshi had any room to talk with how much he spoiled Tsutomu but he liked to think that Tsutomu was spoiled for his good behaviour. 

Tsutomu was growing up to be the perfect little criminal and it warmed Wakatoshi’s heart to no end because for all the ‘evil’ things he did he still had the purest of hearts. Even now as he tried to steal a pair of earrings off of a well-dressed grandmother of one the kids in attendance he couldn’t help but feel proud. He did still have to go and warn him not to steal anything for the duration of the party or else he’d be in huge trouble. Ushijima didn’t want to cause any problem for the Bokutos or create unnecessary work for Sawamura who would probably be the first person consulted as a cop attending the party. Thankfully it seemed that there were a handful of other teens and young adults in attendance who absorbed Tsutomu into their group with ease.

The party was as much a social gathering for adults as it was a celebration for Katsumi Bokuto, and Wakatoshi let Satori pull him around to speak to various socialites or businessmen. Wakatoshi was no stranger to social functions but Satori navigated them much better and certainly enjoyed them much more.

Much of the party was outside, and Wakatoshi noticed before Satori how the redhead’s skin was getting a bit redder but he wasn’t sure if he should bring it up with his husband. There was a chance Satori had realized and didn’t care. He decided not to bring it up until a while later when they were speaking with Sawamura and his husband, Koushi.

“I think I’ve stayed outside too long.” Koushi said, fanning his face, “I can feel my skin burning up, and I’m feeling pretty thirsty.”

“Oh, shit.” Satori said, “I haven’t even thought about my skin. I probably look like a lobster right now!”

The awkward looks on Sawamura and Koushi’s faces seemed to confirm Satori’s suspicions. “Wakatoshi, why didn’t you tell me? These sunburns are going to be so painful!”

“I thought you were perhaps aware.” Wakatoshi said in a small bid to defend himself.

“Obviously not.” Satori said, sighing. He looked annoyed. “We should head back inside before this gets any worse.”

“You’re trying to get out of the sun?” Keiji asked, coming up to them, “Come with me, I’ll set you all up in one of the sitting rooms.”

The four of them followed Keiji back inside and he brought them to a sitting room a bit away from the bustle of the party, notifying one of the wait staff to bring some food and drinks to the room. He went to turn on the radio, but only static came out rather than any music or radio show.

“Damn it.” Keiji mumbled, fiddling around with the knobs, “This was working just fine a few days ago…”

Everyone ended up crowding around the radio trying to find a way to fix it using sophisticated methods such as twisting the knobs fully to either side, turning it off and back on, and hitting the top of it with their fists (courtesy of Koushi and Satori). Just as they were about to give up on the radio all together, someone new spoke up from the doorway.

“Something wrong with the radio?”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! What was your favourite part? :)


End file.
